You’re talking about a utopia that doesn’t exist yet but that looks a lot like the Prohibitionist ideal (of a sex work free world). I can only say it’s more complicated than that.
I don’t know what personal relationships will look like in this patriarchy free world, what if there are still people like me who prefer no strings attached physical hookups now and then but are too busy for and don’t want the bother of emotionally care taking other people yet? Will there be singles bars for us to sort through one night stands or can we just go to multigender clubs or houses and without all the conversation and filtering find someone we like and get physical?
At it’s best, that’s what sex work is: physical attention and affection for money. My energy that goes into being physically affectionate toward you is compensated by cash in the same way that my energy that went into being physically affectionate with the kids I’ve nannied for or worked with at the daycare was compensated by minimum wage.
This utopia seems to presume that we’ll all be on the emotional same page, all having meaningful sex in committed relationships, or safe one night stands where no one gets emotionally attached. It’s once again assuming we all share the same metaphysical value of physical intimacy, and I don’t. And I know I’m not the only one.
If I knew that strippers were being paid and taken care of, with health insurance and workman’s comp and that any violations against them were taken seriously I would LOVE to go to strip clubs. We’re talented and amazing.
I don’t think that the desire to feel special and get physical affection is an oppressive outgrowth of patriarchy, I think it’s something a lot of people share, and I’m happy to provide it for a price that reimburses the energy it takes, just like it takes energy to coax your partner into a better mood after a shitty day at work.
But I do want that imperialism free, capitalism free, patriarchy and racism and misogyny free world. I just think neither of is knows what it will look like and we have different ideals of it.
I think this is a great answer, and something that’s really important to see spelled out in prose, because I’ve been in and been present for numerous takes on this conversation with muggles and I wish there was more understanding of, well, this.